I went away for a loooooong while. After a certain tragedy last year, I have moved, I dropped out of nursing school, my son’s father and I separated, I met a new man and am now in the process of piecing my life back together.

Though the past year has presented the darkest thoughts in my head that I have almost ever known, I haven’t stopped loving birth. It really is the field I am meant to be in. Because of this, I haven’t given up on my dream to become a certified nurse midwife. I ran out of school money (I had no idea that pell grants ran out!), so I have been talking with a National Guard recruiter about joining! I’ll join as an officer and be able to advance my career from there. For now, I’ll just get tickled about the people in my life that I love that are growing babies.

It’s strange what a major life change can do in every aspect of life. Nothing worries me as much anymore because I know that it could all certainly be worse. I don’t leave the house much- I do a lot of cooking and cleaning. I don’t see my son as much as I used to, so that eats away at me every moment of every day he’s away. He’s away now and I don’t want to go anywhere. Gabriel went to a bonfire party- in October… My favorite kind! And I just didn’t want to go. I left the house once this week to take my son to his dad, and that’s it. I work out a lot, I drink a lot of coffee, I clean and cook and yada yada, but I moved to a rural place and I think the art of conversation is lost on me now. It’s a perishable skill, I guess.

I am trying more and more every day to come to terms with the idea that I have to leave my son. For five months. That’s for basic training and AIT. OCS will be every weekend for 18 months. I grieve not having him for 3.5 days a week- I can’t imagine being without him for so long.

Ideas Under Weiner

Gotta make a confession…Well, two of them.

Confession One:

I’m mildly obsessed with Vanderbilt University. By mildly, I mean that I scour the website at least a few times a week, gave birth in the medical center, and rally for it constantly. And I may OR MAY NOT have considered putting Vanderbilt stickers on my car to marvel at its golden beauty……………….. It’s an outstanding place. If you have never heard of it, it’s definitely one of the most accredited private universities in the US, located an hour south of me in Nashville, TN.

Vanderbilt’s midwifery program is an MSN program with several options. When I was gifted with the dream of becoming a midwife, I told myself that from now on, the sky is the limit. For that reason comes

Confession Two:

I have been purposely avoiding looking at the cost of tuition at Vanderbilt. I’m enjoying my daydreams vividly… that is, until today! Here we are…

Tuition and Fees for MSN and DNP

2012-2013 Tuition and Fees

Costs for Full-Time Study for 3 Semesters

 Tuition – Per Credit Hour $1,126
 Books* 2,200
 Health Insurance** 2,382
 Activity Fee & Rec Fees*** 477
 Computer Technology Lab Fees**** 525
 Liability Insurance 99
 Clinical Placement Fee (one time) 150
 Occupational Exposure Fee (once per year) 40
 Transcript Fee (one time) 30

Part-Time Study

Tuition – Per Credit Hour $  1,126

The program is 53 credit hours… so, $59,678.00 as of today in tuition alone. Let me tell you… I’m a first generation college student, I grew up in an apartment and slept on a couch. I had one bra. I work hard and I’m determined, but an unwed mother and the only source of income in my house of tres. Those numbers almost made me ralph. The sky is the limit until you search “tuition” on Vandy’s website…… YOWZA. That’ll put a roof on your sky-dreams!.

Anyways, still not giving up. I found that Vanderbilt offers several scholarships, tuition assistance programs, etc. etc. My purpose in this weird post is that I plan on applying to Vanderbilt once I am an RN. I’ll be an RN in two years… that means that I have two years to become totally worthy of a scholarship. I need to brew ideas… I need to know what outstanding shenanigans I can get myself in to that will make enough of an impact to allow me to afford the credentials that I need to continue the same impact for the rest of my breaths. I doubt a car wash will do (even though I’m breastfeeding, my hoots are just not that great), I don’t know that I can knit enough placenta dolls to inspire anyone… but my only idea so far is to try to fit a doula certification into my nursing school and start from there.

But that’s all I’ve got so far. I just read the jaw-dropping tuition statement about an hour ago, so my brain is still foggy. Any ideas will be laid out in front of their very own welcome-mat to my door of readytohearthems. Speaking of Welcome Mats, if you have a wiener dog and don’t have this, you are doing it all wrong.

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That’s just plain ol funny! Anyways, your ideas are greener under that wiener! Please!! As always, happy birthing! ❤

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